Church Bulletins

Okay...since I don't really have any great ideas for a post today (blogger's block), I thought I would reprint an email that was forwarded to me. First though, I want to give all of you moms a heads up to check out my cousin's blog. She has an upcoming Saving Supper Blog Carnival that you might be interested in reading about.

Now, to the post at hand. Enjoy the giggle.

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Thank goodness church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang I Will Not Pass This Way Again, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new contribution campaign slogan last Sunday : I Upped my Pledge - Up Yours.