Can You Brush Your Hair Too Much?

I know...it seems like an odd question to ask. Is it possible for one to brush one's hair too much?

So, I was sitting at the light today as I was heading to the county tax office (one of the many stops I had to make today in order to take care of the STUPID--yes, I said stupid--registration sticker ticket that I got a month ago). In front of me sat a school-bus yellow large truck, and inside the truck was this person ferociously brushing his/her hair.

Now, I must stop momentarily and say that I could not tell whether or not it was a him or a her, so I will not be able to make any gender-related conclusions. However, the hair was of the mulletesque style so perhaps a style-related conclusion can be drawn.

Nevertheless, I watched the person brush non-stop for a good 2 minutes, and that concerned me because 1) I don't brush my hair all that much and was beginning to wonder if I should embrace the Marsha Brady approach to hair brushing, 2) imagine how much yucky hair is being shed in that person's car over the course of a week, and 3) it was a MULLET (if you have a mullet, shouldn't you also sport a devil-may-care attitude or at least one of low-maintenance hygiene).

I think I would still be overly-concerned about this had I not passed by a motorized duck car with the door on the rear just a few minutes later. Guess that means tomorrow's post will be entitled "Should a Motorized Duck Car Really Have a Door on Its Bottom?"

Apparently I Am Common

So...come to find out...I am common. You know when as a young child your mother tells you how special and unique you are? Well, I have decided that might mother must have been lying.

In the past two weeks, I have had four different people tell me that I look just like someone they know or have recently met.

When person #1 told me, I just nodded, smiled, and said, "You know, I get that a lot," (which, strangely enough, is true). Then, person #2 said something to me, and they told me that "my twin" not only LOOKED like me, but they also ACTED and SPOKE just like me. Now my first question is how many people in America grew up in East Texas, went to school in the north, lived in Russia (all of which have shaped my manner of speech and dialect) and are overly-dramatic in conversation?

I had just about recovered from the second incident, when person #3 accosted me with the information that they, too, know someone who looks just like me.

Now, for most of my life, I really have heard that I look like someone else. Apparently, the slightly quirky glasses and penchant for slogan tshirts, layered clothing, and great heels (although, not all at the same time because black strappy heels really don't mesh well with the "I'm with stupid" tshirt) are not all that unique. However, I have CLUNG DESPERATELY to the hope that my mother was right, and I am truly one of a kind.

Then, I spoke with person #4. It happened this morning as I was waiting for church to begin. As the nice lady began to tell me that I look just like one of her students, my self-worth gently starts crumbling. As always, I nod, I smile, and I respond politely. It was at this point in the conversation that she tells me the student in question is in the 4th grade.

Yes...a 4th grader.

So, I am consoling myself with the notion that while I may not be unique or special, it seems that trick-or-treating is now an option for this year.

Extra Spending Money

This morning was a total brain power kind of morning. I had a couple of high-thought jobs that needed to be done. So this afternoon, I was kind of forced to focus on work that might fall more into the brainless category because my mind was spent (yes, I realize that it does not take much to get me into the "spent" category on brain power).

So, I went about shredding some things that needed to be disposed of. Before I continue, however, I should admit that I am not known for my patience in shredding. What this means is that when the shredder says it can only hold 4 sheets at a time, I like to test its ability and put more like 12 sheets in at a time. Therefore, I have broken the shredder on numerous occasions.

As I am working this afternoon, I am feeding about 8 sheets through at a time (we all know the 4 sheets max is just a suggestion), and the shredder starts making this awful noise and the motor keeps running forwards and backwards. So, I was forced to pull out the scissors (the perfect shredder-fixing tool is a pair of scissors), unplug the shredder and go to work.

What I pulled out was a mass of stuck credit card pieces (see picture above). Apparently, multiple people in the office have been using the credit card feature on the machine to destroy old cards, and the machine does not want to flaunt that feature.

Once I had all of the card pieces pulled out, the shredder now works beautifully (well, except the automatic feature has stopped working).

Now, I am thinking my next task for the afternoon is to work on piecing together all of the credit card parts that came out of the machine to create a little extra spending money for myself.

Blog List of Today (and a little yesterday)

Today has been an interesting day. You know it is definitely going to fall into the interesting category when your day beings with someone telling you, "I heard a rumor about you." So rather than try to piece together the day into one long post, I am just going to list the various moments of today (and some of yesterday).

1. I regularly wear a binder clip or large paper clip in my hair to keep it out of my face. I don't do this because it is stylish or because I am trying to start a new fashion trend. I do this because binder clips and paper clips are in the drawer of my desk. Up until this point, no one has ever noticed. Today, however, multiple people have both noticed and commented. I'm thinking it is time to invest in actual hair clips.

2. I have 10 boxes in my office currently waiting to be opened. For some reason, I just do not have the desire to open any of them. I do have to admit that 1 of the boxes is open, but I have not unpacked it. Instead, I just pull out what I need as I need it and leave the box sitting in front of my desk.

3. I ate peanut butter, pineapple, and oreos for lunch today. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It really does not seem like a good idea now. I feel a little sick. It probably didn't help that I also drank a lot of water because I was feeling yucky from my lunch. Now I feel swishy and yucky.

4. I (and when I say I, I actually mean my secretary, but we really shouldn't get hung up on technicalities) managed to fix the computerized check-in system that I broke on Sunday. A big woohoo for that.

5. I have been working on background checks lately for work. When I do this, I feel the need to run a background check on myself just to see if I have happened to commit a crime I don't know about. So far, I've been clean.

6. Yesterday, when I finished my work, I took a quick trip to Galveston to ride the ferry and sit on the beach. It was one of the most relaxing things I have done in a good while. I'm hoping to move my office permanently onto the Robert Criswell Memorial Ferry. Question...do they make computer shields for seagull poop?

Yes, I Live on the Third Floor

So, I think I did something not-so-smart this morning. To be fair, I was having a hurried morning (i.e. I don't know that I can be blamed for my actions). I kept dropping my blow dryer. My jeans were taking forever to dry. And, the humidity level in Houston has reached 127%, so my flat iron was having to work overtime. It was just one of those mildly frustrating mornings.

When I then spilled a glass of water all over my bathroom counter, that kind of tipped me over my breaking point. I marched into my room and flung myself on the bed. I use the word flung here to describe my action, but I should probably be truthful and explain that it was more of a flying leap rather than a fling.

(I must pause the story right here to clarify something. My bed sits on a set of those "As Seen on TV" bed risers. Unfortunately, this is important to note.)

So, as I fling myself onto my bed out of frustration, it very quickly becomes apparent that the legs on my bed were pretty near the edge of the bed risers because E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. comes crashing down. Risers on the foot-end of the bed tip over, 2 of the bed legs hit the ground, and a very loud crash resonates through the apartment complex (or at least through the two apartments below me, because yes, I live on the third floor).

Once I recovered from the shock of the collapse. I did my best attempt at being a structural engineer and determined that everything was okay. However, I can't help but think that tonight as I lay in my now structurally challenged bedroom, there may very well be a reenactment of "The Money Pit" scene where multiple floors give way to the bed.

Hmm...maybe I should sleep in my car tonight.

New Sky Mall Merchandise

I realize that I have posted about the latest Sky Mall merchandise before, but yesterday while I was on the plane to Oklahoma, I noticed they had a NEW issue out (yes, that is giddiness you hear in my voice). So, I decided to peruse the catalog and share with you some of my favorite new things from Sky Mall (and P.S., some of you may be getting one or more of these items for Christmas).

1. Put away those Wii's and Xbox's. Through the Sky Mall, you can purchase a Full Size Arcade Legends Game (think Putt Putt's arcade room). Imagine the hour of joy your family will get out of a $3700 arcade game that only plays one game.

2. Do you have someone at work that won't leave you alone? Is there a pesky coworker who sits across the cubicle and makes slurping sounds when he drinks? Well, then you need the Marshmallow Shooter. Load up the Marshmallow Shooter with a bag of jumbo marshmallows and softly annoy your coworker until he quits. It's both fun for you and beneficial in the long run.

3. Many of you are closet Star Wars fan (well, except you K*****, who owns your own Darth Vadar mask and wears it in public). So, what better way to say Merry Christmas than with a Voice Activated R2-D2. It really doesn't do anything except beep and make other droid-like sounds, but if you are lonely (and my guess is that most Star Wars fans are probably lonely), then Mr. R2-D2 makes a wonderful addition to your stuffed cat collection, and he will at least beep at you.

4. Do you have wedgie issues (no, not that type of wedgie)? Does your pant leg get tucked under your heel when you wear sling back shoes? Well, then you should invest in the Pants Un-Heeled. It keeps you from experiencing the annoying pant/heel wedgie. Plus for those of you with more than 2 legs, you can buy 6 Pants Un-Heeled for a discounted rate.

5. If you are a fan of museum-life, then I have got the best gift for you. You need the King Tut Life-Sized Sarcophagus Cabinet, because nothing says classy home decor like a mummy coffin. If you would like to continue that style throughout your house, then Sky Mall also sells a life-sized replica of King Tutankhamen's Egyptian Throne Chair. You could get a set of 8 for your dining room, and then everyone would have the joy of feeling like a dead king.

Those are just a few of the new offerings from Sky Mall. If you are interested in checking them out on your own, then they now have an Iphone App for the Sky Mall and gift cards available.

I'm not meaning to spoil the suprise of Christmas, but I have just ordered a couple of Rock Lamps, a large Cannon Residental Safe, and four Shirtpocket Underwater Cameras. Look for those items in your stockings.

Toasty Warm with the IRS

Yes, fellow Houstonites, I realize that the current 66 degree weather is not bordering on hypothermic. However, for someone who stays cold most of the times, it is positively nippy outside.

In fact, after running errands and doing a little work on my day off in a short sleeve shirt, I came home feeling miserably cold. So, I did the smart thing and put on flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and turned on my heater. Now, before you start rolling your eyes and calling me names that emphasize my wimp-ish qualities, keep in mind that that is not very nice (and I will tell my mama on you).

Anyway, back to the story.

I turned on my heater. Now, for those that know me well, you know that is a big deal. I do not like to spend money on things like electricity, water, food (no, shoes do not fall into the "don't like to spend money on" category because they are necessities). Therefore, I really work to save my money. I don't turn on my air conditioner unless I am going to have company or straighten my hair, (Yes, I am actually serious about that one. My chi gives off major amounts of heat and could double as a space heater.) and I am generally excited to see what my electric bill is most months.

All of that "saving money" got me in trouble, though, this last year. Apparently, the IRS does not like you to save money, and all of those savings ended up costing me much money (I'm guessing it cost me more than if I had just turned on my air conditioner in the first place).

So, as we launch into winter (or what feels like winter in my reality), I am going to be toasty warm with the IRS because I am going to use my heater and just have a devil-may-care attitude about my electric bill. You know, I might even decide to run my dishwasher when it is only half-full and be just as flippant with my water bill.

I feeling a little emboldened. Who knows what will be next.

What a Day

So, I actually have a few things that come to mind in considering what to blog about, but I would have to be too cryptic in my description/discussion of these items, and my level of crypticivity (yeah, not a word, but it sounded good to me) is non-existent this evening. So, you will be treated to a recap of my day (complete with gun toting, teeth missing Texans).

This morning two others and I set out to do a survey trip for one of our activities. We had two places on the agenda to visit and decided to make the trip in one of the ladies brand new car.

The first half of the day went very smoothly. Really, there were no problems at all, and we were feeling good about ourselves and our ability to accomplish our tasks for the day. (Boy, did we speak to soon.)

As we were heading to our second destination with the help of the car's navigation system, we traveled into the world of navigation system purgatory. Had we been smart or even the tiniest bit savvy, we would have turned the car around immediately. Instead...this is what happened (presented in bullet form because each problem was significant enough to merit its own grammatical emphasis).

• We were sent down a road that had no pavement (entirely dirt) and no outlet. Yes, our progress was stopped by a huge mud puddle and fence.
• We then ended up going 17 miles in the wrong direction.
• When Mr. Onstar (the nice man we visited through the navigation system) tried to help us find our way, we all three wanted him to stay on the line with us in case tears started flowing.
• Once we were traveling down the proper path, we were met head on by a very large backhoe working on said road. Backhoe then forced us onto the left-hand side of the road where we remained for multiple miles.
• Next road we were to turn on had a road closed sign posted at its entrance.
• When we passed a car that we were able to flag down for help, one of us asked him what all was out this way, and he laughed. That laughter either indicated that we had stumbled upon the largest moonshine production area in Texas or a scene from Deliverance.
• We also managed to locate Bela Karolyi's exclusive training facility and encampment. Still not sure how we stumbled upon that.
• Were finally able to eat lunch around 3pm at a gas station. Our other option was the Pic and Pay (I am so not making that up; nor did I misspell "Pic").

After having spent the majority of the evening slightly nauseated, I am now thinking the Pic and Pay might have been the better food option.

Writing Inspiration

So, I have been pretty busy as of late, and this week is especially flurried with activity. You would think with so much going on, that I would have plenty of blog material to choose from. Well, apparently not. I cannot come up with anything.

So, as I typically do when I have nothing to write, I will present you with a list. This list is the top 10 things that currently make me laugh pretty hard.

1. The "Budget Casket" store I pass by fairly often. This is funny to me because my mother desperately hopes to be a crash test dummy when she is no longer with us (yes, it is morbid, but that is what she told us), and I am thinking that the "Budget Casket" store offers her a few more options.

2. When my dear, sweet friend who shall remain nameless tells me to put on my big girl panties and get over something. Yes, it generally makes me laugh because of the imagery associated with the thought.

3. Bright green fanny packs and Coach, gold trimmed, high-top sneakers. Yes, I saw both of those items on a couple of ladies in the mall the other day.

4. The words Happy Birthday and dumptruck as said by a couple of my favorite special needs kids in specific context. Ask me to tell you the story sometime if you want a good laugh.

5. When my niece dressed up for nerd day at school this past week, the majority of her outfit came from my father's closet (including the bright orange Hawaiian shirt).

6. That I still go "ice skating" through the grocery store in flip flops and a grocery cart. If you've done it, you know exactly what I am talking about.

7. That all my change smells like pickles because I didn't clean out my change jar (an old pickle jar) well enough before I started using it, and now cashiers generally sniff my money before they put it in the cash register.

8. The show "I Love Lucy". Favorite show of all time. ALWAYS makes me laugh.

9. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

10. Tama's description of a conference her group recently sang at (Tama et al., I have told and retold those stories to a whole lot of people).