Update Time

Good morning, everyone. I realize that I have gotten a bit behind in my updating of the blog, but I just haven't felt moved to update as of late.

So, to catch you up in lightening speed fashion, here is what has been going on as of late.

1. I owe a pretty large chunk to the IRS (not because I haven't paid on my taxes) for two reasons. The first is that I am a single clergy, and the way taxes are figured for both singles and for clergy REALLY penalizes me. Second, I try to be frugal. Yes, you read that correctly, because I try to watch what I spend, I now owe more in taxes (again, it is the way a clergy's taxes are figured that determine this). Therefore, I have recently proclaimed that I need to get married fairly quickly so as to have a better tax situation next year.

2. My Dyson vacuum cleaner had to go into the shop. Apparently, I vacuum with too much enthusiasm, and I broke a little piece on the machine. It really concerned me at first that I have only had it 3 months, and it already needed to be repaired. However, I then figured out that I have vacuumed more in 3 months then most people have in a year. It's now back home and working beautifully.

3. I watched (and enjoyed) the Academy Awards. I'm a Hugh Jackman fan, and I think this year's Oscars were much more entertaining than most of the past years. Plus, I love BIG, musical numbers with sneak appearances by Zac Efron.

Well, I guess less has happened than I thought. Oh well. Have a wonderful rest of the weekend.

Jesus, Dwight, Moses, and David

Jesus, Dwight, Moses, and David.

Wait a minute...Dwight? Where in the Bible is the story on Dwight? His story can probably be found in one of the hard-to-spell books of the Old Testament.

Anyway, my Emphysema David (and Jesus and Moses) dolls came in today, so I introduced them to Dwight, and the four of them now reside together on a shelf in my office. They probably will have a lot to talk about.

I can just picture Dwight turning to Moses and saying, "Question! Which type of beets taste the best with quail? Wrong! All beets are best!"

And then, Dwight will pull out his crossbow and Chinese throwing stars and use them on David because why rely on five little stones when are arsenal of weapons will do?

Oh, the fun times ahead.

Oatmeal Snob

Did you know it was possible to be an oatmeal snob? I didn't either. Apparently, though, I have become an oatmeal snob.

Over the last few weeks, I have been eating steel cut oatmeal for breakfast, and it has be super-yummy. However, it takes a good 35 minutes to make. So generally, I make a pot at the beginning of the week and heat some up each morning.

This morning as I was rummaging through the kitchen to find something for breakfast, I realized that I ate the last bit of my oatmeal yesterday morning. So, on the top shelf of my pantry, I spotted a box of maple and brown sugar Quaker Instant Oatmeal. Although it wasn't my first choice, I needed to eat some breakfast so that I could head out to the grocery store.

So, I prepared it according to the directions and sat down to eat.

Eeeww. Yuck.

I kidd you not, I could not manage more than one bite, and so I ended up dumping it down the disposal. I used to enjoy instant oatmeal. However, I'm guessing that after weeks of eating "quality" oatmeal, I have become an oatmeal snob.

So, I opened up a can of green beans for breakfast (yes, I REALLY need to go to the store), and I am off to the store with steel cut oats at the top of my list.

Oh the Excitement...

I am giddy with excitement!!!!

I finally got my David, Moses, and Jesus dolls ordered today. They aren't bobble-heads, but they do talk. The David one sounds a little like he has emphysema.

I'll try to post video of it when they came in so that all of you guys can see these for yourselves.

I already have the perfect spot for them...on the shelf next to bobble-head Dwight.

Also, on a side note. I have a new favorite Bible verse--2 Chronicles 14:14, but you have to read it in the NIV to get the full affect.

Peanut Recall, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Sunday Mornings

Okay, so I am actually up at work on this fine President's Day trying to clean my office. It is a much bigger job than I anticipated, so it is BREAK TIME.

While I am taking my break, I thought I would take a moment to write a new blog post.

The first is about the peanut recall. So, I apparently have not been watching the news at all, and so when I got a phone call the other day from Sam's saying that a box of peanut butter crackers that I had purchased was being recalled, I was a little surprised.

That surprise was quickly followed by concern that I had eaten a number of those snack packages and was just now finding out that they had been recalled. (BTW...if anyone sees me acting slightly strange, then there is a good chance I have salmonella poisoning.)

Anyway, I loaded myself and my box of snack crackers into the car and headed to Sam's. When I got there, there was a pretty long line at customer service. That long of a line meant that I had plenty of time to people watch. I soon found myself fixated on one of the customer service people. He was standing at his register working very intently on his returns with a large safari hat planted squarely on his head.

The reason that this struck me as unusual was because it was overcast outside and he was INSIDE. There was no sun beating down inside Sam's Club, nor was he having to shield himself from the rain. He kept that hat on, though, and every so often he would tighten the chin strap just in case the wind inside Sam's might catch it and blow it away.

**********

The second thought is about chocolate chip cookies. I want to make sure that everyone knows the proper way to bake and serve chocolate chip cookies.

You bake the cookies until they are about 3/4 of the way done, and then you take them out of the oven, scoop them (probably with a spoon) into a small bowl, and eat them with either a fork or a spoon. Then you drink a LARGE glass of milk because the gooey version of the chocolate chip cookie is WAY SWEETER than anything you can imagine. (Warning...you'll want to eat just one or two cookies doing this. Otherwise, you will be make yourself sick.)

I am a fan of the raw cookie dough and of the completely cooked cookie, but the 3/4 cookie is the best. Plus, it saves electricity because your stove isn't on as long.

**********

Sunday morning...hmm...what an interesting day yesterday was.

First off, I completely lack the ability to communicate with others. I really do struggle with basic social skills (I'm thinking of asking Lynley to do some social skills lessons with me).

Anyway, unless I know you quite well and feel comfortable that you will embrace ALL of my weirdness, I almost always feel very awkward when visiting with people. That sense of awkwardness then makes my already fast-moving mouth and brain speed up so as not to prolong the misery of actually having to talk to someone. That increase in speed makes my thoughts very disjointed and what I am saying border on unintelligible. That, in turn, makes me feel even more awkward, which speeds things up more, etc., etc., etc.

Do you see the vicious cycle here?

Anyway, yesterday was definitely one of those days. I was meeting with one of my new coordinators yesterday morning about a new role that she is assuming. I have visited with her occasionally and quite a bit by email, but never a prolonged face-to-face meeting where I am required to convey specific information to her, and NEVER on a Sunday morning.

As I am showing her around and explaining some different things, I realize that I am not actually completing any of my sentences nor am I forming any coherent thoughts. As I start to internally focus on this issue, all of my speech continues to disintegrate.

Then, I realize that I drank a large Diet Coke yesterday morning on the way to church. I haven't had caffeine in months, but because I had stayed up late the night before, I needed a pick-me-up on the way to church. So, not only was my usual mush-mouth taking over, but I had added caffeine into the mix.

There really was no chance that she was going to get the information from me that she needed and leave the conversation feeling confident that I was the person in charge of the children at our church.

Oh well. Maybe I should start mixing Benadryl with my Sunday morning glass of milk.

Life Lesson from The O.C.

So, who knew I could gain a life lesson from The O.C.--not me. In fact, it shocked me slightly.

Let me back up a little to explain. I have been working on a project for the last few weeks that requires me reading through some pretty awful case studies on parenting and involvement of CPS. They really have been very hard and sickening to get through.

So, today I decided to take a break from my work and just chillax. I realize I spent all of Wednesday on the couch, but I was sick, so that doesn't count. Today, I literally wanted to do nothing. Mid-afternoon, the draw of just "laying there and reading" had exhausted itself. So, I flipped on the television and started channel surfing.

I landed on an old rerun of The O.C. (season 1...the best season).

As I watched the scene unfold, the dad (Sandy) was scolding the "foster" son (Ryan), for some trouble that he had gotten into, and Sandy was getting on to Ryan pretty good. It was at that point that Ryan made some statement to the effect of "he would pack his stuff and leave," (not in a running away/pouting kid reaction, but in a "I've messed up, and I know you won't want me anymore" kind of way).

Sandy's reaction to that statement was the best line ever uttered on The O.C. He said, "Do you think you can mess up so much that we are going to kick you out of this family? You are part of our family now."

Wow, if only everyone thought that way. I tell you, after reading all of those case studies, that was such a refreshing idea. And to think, it came as part of The O.C. Who knew there could be such a life lesson?

This Morning on the Price Is Right...

First of all, yes, I watched The Price Is Right. In my defense, though, I have been home sick all day. So, I was laying on the couch in a Tylenol PM haze, and by the time the remote landed on The Price Is Right I was too tired to continue changing the channel. So, I left it.

I drifted off for awhile, and by the time I woke up, it was the last "wheel time". The last two guys both spun $1.00 earning themselves each $1,000. Then they both spun $0.15 which earned them each another $10,000.

I was up off the couch in total excitement. I think I may have whooped, but I don't completely remember. At that moment, I really wanted to call someone to share the excitement of the moment.

Then, I remembered....

...it was The Price Is Right.

Never before has The Price Is Right seemed so exhilarating. It surely must have been the Tylenol PM. Perhaps, I should lower my dosage