Interesting Diatribe

So, earlier today, I read an interesting diatribe on the use of the colon right parentheses. You know what I am talking about--the :).

I am so not a big fan of emoticons (or fake emoticons) in general probably because I don't "read between the lines" very well. I expect that what you say is actually what you mean. If you tell me, "Great job on the speech you gave. :)" Then I read that as you really think I did a great job. If I know I really didn't do such a good job, then I also will think that you are not terribly bright for not recognizing that fact. Problem is (as the author of the above diatribe rightly states) that when one puts a ":)" within a text or email message, it means that text or email probably wasn't meant to be very nice to begin with.

With that being said, I have a friend who is emoticon-happy. She loves using emoticons. However, she is also a very kind person and does not typically utilize sarcasm as a major speech tool. So, when she emoticons in a text to me, I completely understand what she is saying, but with most, that is not the case (again, it goes back to that whole "reading between the lines" thing).

So, note to everyone out there, I will no longer recognize emoticons as a valid form of communication (unless, of course, you have been grandfathered in; I have that list available for those who need to see it). If you want to tell me that I am stupid, please simply type, "You are stupid." Resist the urge to include the ":)" or the ":(" or the ";)" because I simply won't understand what you mean, and I will spend the next hour reciting your message with the included smile, frown, or wink to dissect it's meaning.

People, I really don't have that kind of time. :)