10 Reasons to Get Your Shopping Done Before December

As my twelve days of Christmas countdown continues (although, as one of my friends pointed out, the 12 days of Christmas actually start on December 25 and go into January; I was just hoping nobody would know that), here is list #10.

10 Reasons to Get Your Shopping Done Before December

10. Obvious Reason--You save time by getting the shopping done early.

9. Crowded Stores--In December, the stores are uber-crowded with patrons, and the aisles become like the bumper car ride at an amusement park. Invariably, there is some pushing and kicking (I have only kicked someone ONCE, and I had a really good reason), but it ends up feeling more like a cattle-call than a shopping experience.

8. No Selection--Face it, people, once Black Friday has come and gone, the selection of gift items greatly diminishes. In December, the stores pull out all their extra sets of nose-hair trimmers and Sham-Wows that nobody wanted to buy and tries to pawn them off on desperate shoppers who waited until the last minute to purchase a gift for their loved one.

7. Set the Trend--If you do your shopping early, you can set the trend of "What's Hot" for that year. That way, when your child shows up to school wearing a Hannah Oregon backpack from Dollar Tree, the rest of her classmates will be sporting the same look because you spread the word about the must-have items.

6. Crowded Stores #2--No, this is not a repeat of List Item #9, this is in reference to the sales people. In December, stores hire on extra sales staff who are desperately hoping to make some extra money for the holiday season. Take for example the cosmetics area at a widely known department store. As I walked through there on Saturday, there was a line of about 14 perfume sprayers each trying to get me to buy their scent by dousing me with a spritz. When I finally made it to the end of the aisle (and stopped coughing as if I had a communicable disease) I realized that I smelled like something that should be placed in a biohazard bin. I had to go straight home and wash myself with bleach to remove the smells.

5. No Parking Spots--Once the stores get crowded, the parking lots do too, and then we all turn into parking lot stalkers. You know what I'm talking about. You see someone exit a store, and you get right behind them in your car as they walk across the parking lot. You are going all of 3 mph, and they keep looking over their shoulder at you because while they understand what you are doing, they are still a little worried that the holiday madness in you might snap at any moment. Then, if they happen to cross over a couple of aisles (thus leaving your chase fruitless) then you find yourself saying all of those words that you know you shouldn't.

4. No Salvation Army Bell Ringers--Okay, admit it. You know that sometimes you pick up your pace and refuse to make eye contact with the Red Bell Ringers, and you placate yourself by making up some sort of excuse that you give to the needy through church. And then the guilt plagues you. The Red Bell Ringers don't come out until the holiday season. So, by doing your shopping early, you alleviate a fair amount of guilt. (Preemptive add-on--before anyone gets onto me about how blessed I am and how I should be helping others, please note the sarcasm and humor with which this entire post and this specific item in particular are written. I feel I have to say that because my sense of humor doesn't always translate well.)

3. Guide Your Child's Santa List--By already purchasing their Christmas morning gifts, you can use the preceeding months to encourage them towards those specific items. For example, sit in your child's room each evening as they are asleep and quietly whisper, "You want new underwear and a bookbag from Santa," over and over. The osmosis of it will show up when they sit in Santa's lap and proclaim their undying desire for undergarments and school supplies.

2. Materialism--If your Christmas shopping has already been completed by the time the season rolls around, then you can pretend that you like to use the holiday season to remind your family about the spiritual aspect of the season and about what is truly important rather than succumbing to the materialistic nature of retail industry.

1. Wassailing--Finishing your shopping prior to December allows you plenty of time to go wassailing. (I'm not actually sure what wassailing is, but the song "Here we go a wassailing..." always sounds so cheerful, so I am sure it is fun.)

Hope your day is wonderful, and stay tuned for tomorrows Countdown list of 9 Holiday Outfits that Should Never Be Worn.