3 Reasons Not to Go to Walmart on December 22

First off, I want to give a BIG thank you to my friend Roxanne for taking on the duties of the #4 Countdown List. Even though I harassed her (in the comment section of the post) about not being able to count to four and using colored fonts and using different font sizes, her post really was great, and it was so nice to just turn "the pressure of the lists" over to someone else for a day. However, now I am going to step up the quality of my posts, because she set a much higher standard than what I typically strive for or am able to achieve.

My family has a bit more traveling to do today, and so I set my alarm in preparation of completing the #3 list before we were "on the road again" (yes, I am apparently feeling the need to channel my own innner Willie Nelson, and yes, I am currently wearing a red bandana to complete that channeling).

The inspiration for this countdown post comes from the trip I took last night to Walmart. (You are welcome to openly mock me in all of my stupidity now. If I weren't so traumatized by the trip, even I would be openly mocking myself.) Anyway, as I said, I made a trip last night to Walmart to pick up a few remaining items. I guess I should also admit that I went to Walmart really late the night before too, so there has been double trauma.

However, it is time to get on to the list. Here are 3 Reasons Not to Go to Walmart on December 22.

3. I think I saw all of the people who regularly make the "People of Walmart" website all in one trip. I saw all sorts of body parts that really left a scar seared into the back of my corneas (or retinas, or whatever part of the eye helps you see). To make matters worse, most of these folks chose to exhibit their holiday spirit by incorporating Christmas colors in their "interesting" choice of clothes. I mean we all know that nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a green and red bikini top in the middle of December on a person of a rather large nature. Oh, and did I mention that the words "Merry Christmas" were on her clothing item. Take a moment to think, and you will figure out where the "Merry" and the "Christmas" were. Truly, I can just feel my Christmas Spirit diminishing.

2. If you are needing to get a last minute gift, then there is a good chance that all you will end up with is a holiday pack of Nightswept (anybody catch the reference there?) and a dented tin of flavored popcorn. So, for my family members receiving those gifts, please remember that it is the thought that counts.

1. As "unusual" as a shopping experience can be at Walmart on a regular day, that oddity quotient jumps exponentially the closer to Christmas you get. Some of the things I saw last while completing my shopping--a family playing the game Twister in the middle of the toy section; a shopping cart with 6 kids in it being pushed by "bikini lady" from point #3 above; a man loudly singing "Material Girl" (really, Madonna transcends gender and age and senility); and the entire Village People group (okay, it probably wasn't really the Village People, but they were in costume).

With all of that being said, I have finally COMPLETED my Christmas shopping--WOOHOO! Now, I am not sure what tomorrow's post will be, but I have 6 hours in a car today to figure it out, so hopefully it will come to me.