5 Foods That Should Be a Staple of Christmas

Yes, I realize that I did not post a preview for today's countodwn list at the end of yesterday's post, but that is because I had NO IDEA what I was going to write today. You see, I am from deep east Texas. Intelligence isn't naturally a part of who I am (it is due to all the inbreeding). So, doing this many posts in this short of a time period has taxed my brain substantially.

Anyway, yesterday I was standing in the youth minister's office after we had just come out of a long meeting, and I received some suggestions on the list for today. My first plan was for it to be 5 Words You Can Spell with the Letters in SANTA.

5. As
4. An
3. At
2. Sat
1. Satan

However, I thought I might receive a good bit of flack for associating the jolly bringer of Christmas goodies with the devil--even if it was meant in a truly humor-filled way.

The other suggestion I received was about food. So, without further adieu, here are 5 Foods That Should Be a Staple of Christmas.

5. Homemade Candy - Every family has different types of homemade candy they love at the holidays. My family prefers to eat fudge, Martha Washigton's (which I really don't understand while they are called that), and peanut brittle. My dentist prefers us to stick mainly with the peanut brittle because what better way to say, "Merry Christmas, and here is a boat payment for you," than by eating lots of hard, crunchy, and uber-sticky candy that is sure to form multiple cavities the moment it even goes near your mouth.

4. Store Bought Candy - You know you love a good Whitman's Sampler or a nice big Toblerone. Yes, this candy falls into the same dental category as the stuff above, but it also has an added bonus of being neatly packaged so that you can sit a box (or tube) in your lap and just eat away. All of the gyms love the store bought candy. In fact, they are in cahoots with Mr. Whitman and Mr. Toblerone to insure that after the holidays you will feel sufficiently larger thereby requiring a new gym membership as part of your "New Year's Resolution".

3. Rolls - It doesn't matter if your rolls are homemade or store bought. It is simply important to have them in a bread basket at each meal. Besides being an easy-to-eat food item for the little ones, if your Aunt Colleen starts getting mouthy with you at the dinner table, you can simply pick up a roll and throw it at her.

2. Mashed Potatoes - This food item should actually be a staple at ALL major holidays--Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Bastille Day. It is just good food. What makes mashed potatoes such a necessity is that Christmas is about family. It is about young and old coming together to celebrate the birth of Christ (nobody is allowed to point out that he was not actually born at this time of the year) and the spirit of togetherness and love. However, with such a wide age-range of people coming together, it is important to have food that everyone can eat, and mashed potatoes fits that requirement. It is soft enough for both babies and old people to gum down. Plus, you can make it as bland as you need to for those suffering from intestinal issues. Then, if throwing the rolls at Aunt Colleen doesn't work, mashed potatoes and a spoon make an excellent catapult. It is a win-win food all the way around.

1. Fruitcake - I have to admit that I have NEVER understood the appeal of fruitcake, but it seems to be available in copious amounts every holiday season. When did our dessert selection get so bad that someone thought a densely packed lump of cake stuffed with dried, candied fruits might be the best option. And the longer it sits there, the heavier it gets (really, have you picked up a block of fruitcake at the beginning of the holidays and then again at the end). I'm not sure how that happens, but I think it falls under the category of Christmas miracle. This year, I urge everyone to start replacing their fruitcakes with other, more-appetizing desserts. Or, at least cut it in to smaller pieces so that when you must pretend to enjoy some, you can wrap it into your napkin without too much notice.

Merry Christmas Week, and Happy Monday. Tomorrow's countdown list will be the 4 Joys of Christmas Ribbon.